This will work better in a list format. So, these are the things I've learned experienced in the classroom at Glee High School.
1. A classroom on the first floor doesn't mean you can escape out the window. And mulch smells really bad.
2. The suburbs don't have air conditioning because they're too wealthy, but not rich. Teaching in an extremely hot room is almost as miserable as being a student in an extremely hot room.
3. I deserve a brown bag award every year. And so does almost every other teacher.
4. Cheerleaders wear their cheerleading uniforms to school and bake cookies for senior football players. Or in other words, "The Feminine Mystique" is not on the curriculum.
5. There is a curriculum. And no offense, but multiple "guess" in English is not useful in any way, shape, or form.
6. Homecoming actually exists. And people actually go. But don't go to the homecoming dance unless you are one of those twisted people who laugh when people fail on American Idol.
7. Friday Night Lights aren't just in Texas or on TV.
8. There are fields NEXT TO THE SCHOOL. Multiple fields. And people COMPLAIN about them!
9. Kids take buses to school. Yellow ones. I would have LOVED a yellow bus. And seniors can DRIVE to school! How cool is that?
10. School starts WAYYYYY too early.
11. Just because you say when you move to NJ you'll go to the beach after school doesn't mean you'll actually go to the beach after school. Pesky papers and grades.
12. Everyone smiles. A lot. And people share. It's kind of weird. But really nice. But still weird. Like when you're walking down the street and some random guy is mowing his lawn, and he waves, and you look behind you to see who he's waving to and there's nobody there but you. And then you feel sort of bad because you didn't wave back right away.
13. SWAT teams can point guns at you during lockdown drills. Which is actually pretty terrifying.
14. There are no metal detectors, but more of my students own guns than when I worked in NYC.
15. Suburban teachers have too many jobs and not enough in-school prep time. And bathroom duty is literally crappy.
16. Extracurriculars are mandatory volunteer and take up more time than teaching. But if you don't bring a championship home...well... In other words, sports reign supreme. More stereotypes being perpetuated? (See #4).
17. Kids sing and dance in the hallways like it's no big deal. While wearing leotards. There are tap shoes involved in some cases.
18. Kids eat baby food and perform other events that Marc Summers would have been thrilled to host in the early 90s. The goal is to beat the other classes in an epic display of... well, actually I'm not entirely sure what it's a display of. It's not intelligence. It's not really brawn. It's like trying to find a red flag in a giant nose and/or waffle. It's called Battle of the Classes, and it's really strange and REALLY loud.
19. Kids are kids are kids. No matter where they live. And the ones who need the most help are often the ones who don't receive it. Nobody should ever give up on a kid--in the city or the 'burbs.
20. Doves are released at graduation. Live ones. Seriously. That happened. Doves.
So, if I had known in college what I know now, I probably would have understood Boston College. As it stands now, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this experience. I really like the people I worked with. I like the idea of the school spirit. I like my students. But a lot of it doesn't mesh with my idea of reality. It was a little Stepford-wives for me, and I mean that in the best way possible. But, I'm thankful for the experience, and now I can put a check on my list of things I have done. Taught in the Suburbs? Check. Thanks for the memories, Glee High School!
